Privacy

The short version

• We do not track you. No analytics, no advertising pixels, no third-party scripts of any kind.
• We do not use cookies. Not even our own.
• There are no accounts, so there is no password of yours for us to lose.
• Your card details never reach us. They go straight to Stripe and our servers never see them.
• We do not sell or share anything with anybody except the two companies that have to be involved to make and deliver your order.

If you are just reading

Nothing is collected. You can read every story, meet all five of them and take the quiz without us recording that you were here.

Your cart is kept in your own browser, not on our servers. It never leaves your device until you start paying, which is also why it does not follow you to your phone.

Our hosting provider keeps standard web server logs — the kind every site produces, including IP addresses — for a short period, to keep the site up and to stop it being attacked. We do not read them to work out who you are and we do not join them to anything else.

If you buy something

Then we need enough to make the thing and send it to you. That is:

• your email address, for the confirmation and for tracking
• your delivery address
• what you ordered, and what you paid

That is the whole list. We do not ask for your date of birth, your phone number or your gender, and there is no marketing list to be added to.

Who else sees it

Stripe

Takes the payment. Your card number is typed into a form that belongs to Stripe, not to us — we never receive it, so we cannot store it or lose it. Stripe also works out the sales tax from your address.

Printify

Prints the garment and posts it. They get your name, delivery address and what you ordered, because somebody has to put it in a parcel. They do not get your email or anything about payment.

Amazon Web Services

Hosts the site and stores the order. The data stays in the United States.

Nobody else. We do not sell data, we do not trade it, and we have no advertising partners because we do not allow advertising on our site.

How long we keep it

Orders are kept for seven years, because tax law requires a business to be able to show what it sold and to whom. We would keep them for less if we could.

Everything else — the short-lived records that make the checkout work — is deleted automatically within days.

Asking us to delete it

Email us and we will delete everything we hold about you that we are not legally required to keep. In practice that means the order record survives for its seven years and nothing else does.

You can also ask for a copy of what we hold, and we will send it. No particular form of words is needed; just ask.

Children

This is a shop selling t-shirts to adults. It is not aimed at children, and we do not knowingly collect anything from anybody under 13. If you believe a child has sent us something, tell us and it will be deleted.

If this page changes

The date at the top changes with it. If a change ever means we would start collecting something new, we will say so plainly rather than quietly reissuing the page.